HIGHER.

Is it ever enough?

I’m the most terrifyingly boring person I know - I’m sure of that.

I don’t party. I don’t do drugs really. I even used to go on these long walks by myself and just stop and start staring at the clouds moving. Literally — I’d stand there and just look at them for ages like some crazy person. If you want to know the truth, it doesn’t take a lot to impress me. I’m the type of guy that gets impressed very easily by stupid things. Small things. Like if a waitress introduces herself before she asks what you want to drink, for example. It sounds insane; but that’s the type of thing that would make me tip someone even more than I usually do. Waitresses never even introduce themselves these days. No one does anymore unless you ask.

Anyway, I stopped going on these very long walks when I got into this thing called “Web3”. If you really wanna get into it, I damn near lost 12 pounds last cycle cause I kept forgetting to eat. No shit. My doctor (she’s a sweetheart, even though she reeks of cigarettes) started freaking the hell out when I went in for my check up last cycle. I mean she was seriously neurotic as hell about it.

She was all: “You need to start eating again. You’re skating a dangerous path, young man”, wagging her red fingernail in my face. You could just tell she painted them herself, cause the paint was all cracked. She was so insulted at the fact that I lost that much weight. Like she failed me, or something. That whole lecture was kind of annoying to me at the time, but I start smiling like a goof when I think about it these days. It’s a good thing to have people that look out for you once in a while, I guess.

At one point, Web3 consumed every fibre of my being. There was always something to do, I mean. I’d wake up at 4 AM to catch this play, and miss someone’s birthday to catch that one. It’s horrible, I know. But this was the “future” — and I didn’t want to miss out on it. I wasn’t gonna miss out on Solana going to a thousand bucks, or the next “100x”, because in my head, that meant I’d lose out on my future happiness.

Slowly, I began to become desensitized to money. I was unappreciative of it, if I’m being completely honest. Along with that, my ability to be easily impressed by things evaporated overnight. A good friend once told me “crypto kinda feels soulless.” Not to be dramatic, but my obsession with things going higher kinda made me feel it. Like I was losing fragments of my soul. Bits and pieces, here and there, like a rotten tooth that chips more each day.

One time, an ex-girlfriend went off on me about how all I cared about was money. That really pissed me off back then. I was visibly red. Steam out the ears and all. But I was only so mad because she was right. Guys hate to admit it, but women are right a lot of the time.

It’s kind of obvious that a lot of good things happen in Web3, but it’s also the metaphorical “last chance” for a lot of us, too. It’s our tunnel out of the rat race created by the sins of our fathers. But crypto… in a lot of ways, is a rat race in itself. It’s not our fault. It all feels kinda like Squid Games, if you’ve ever seen it.

Whether you’re a founder, or a trader, an artist or a developer… It feels like there’s a constant pressure to perform. It’s like, you feel pretty good about your portfolio or the art you sold, but then you see a 6-figure screenshot of some 16-year-old’s phantom wallet on Twitter.

You see your childhood idol, Hulk Hogan, rug millions of dollars in your face.

It makes you wonder what all of it means. It all feels like capitalism and keeping up with the Joneses eloped and had a foursome with AI and an infinite money printer. It makes so much sense, and no sense at all.

These days, I’ve chilled the hell out. I kinda just observe a lot of things now. I buy art and design a ton. I even took one of those crazy walks I was telling you about again, and watched the clouds for a bit. I’m still busier than ever, but there’s a rhyme to it now, at least. Not to sound all sappy, but I feel my soul coming back. I think it’s safe to say I didn’t like the version of me that was overly obsessed with money.

I guess I didn’t like him because he never asked himself “is it ever enough?”

The older me would say “it’s never enough”. In fact, the old me would probably be simping on the timeline for Iggy Azalea right now as we speak. (Nothing against the folks that do that, by the way. She’s a very attractive woman.)

But it is easy to spiral into a void of soulless conversations about “memecoin this” and “memecoin that” if you surround yourself with people that don’t care about anything but money. Eventually all you care about is Solana hitting $1000.

And for the record, I think it will. But will you be happy when it does?

And if not, when will you be?

What happens if the memes you own end up owning you?

From someone that went through it all, make your bag, but don’t lose your soul. Take care of yourself and your family. Think about the people that look out for you. Take a vacation or buy a house or something. Whatever makes you happy.

Or… keep gambling, I guess. I don’t know. You don’t have to take any of my advice, you know. I won’t be offended. Maybe you just like to read me ramble.

Either way; I still like Web3 a bit too much…

Just not for the original reasons I thought I did.

- xo.