I seriously wish somebody told me what I’m about to tell you when I was younger.
It would have saved me years of time and wasted energy.
I used to chase material things.
I was a people pleaser; and complete fool for attention. I would do anything to make sure things would work in my favor. Because of this, they rarely did.
I was told from a young age to chase things that I wanted. So, I did. But the harder I ran, the further the gap widened between myself and my desires.
What was I doing wrong?
You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you that I rarely chase after things that I want anymore. Quite the contrary — I attract them.
I used to apply to 10 jobs a day and maybe get a call back months later that never lead anywhere meaningful.
Now, I get offers without asking.
I used to cold DM and E-mail influential people and projects, only to get left on read.
Now, I receive so many messages that I’ve considered hiring a part-time assistant to keep track of them all.
I’ve seen both sides of the sword. So, seriously — what changed?
It’s like I told you before. I don’t chase anymore. I attract.
Today, I’ll break down exactly how you can do so too, in two steps. They require ACTION and consistency. But I promise if a bozo like me could do it, you can too.
Literally nobody will tell you what I’m about to tell you, in such a concise manner.
Make sure to pay attention.
#1. Become Valuable
If you truly want to stop wasting energy chasing things that you want in life, you need to become a magnet that attracts them toward you instead.
Think about it like this:
You go to the store to buy food. The store doesn’t come to your doorstep and beg you to buy apples from them.
Frank Ocean decides he wants to headline at Coachella. I guarantee you he didn’t reach out to them first... and it wasn’t a cheap deal.
You camp outside of Apple for the latest iPhone. It sells out before you even enter. Outraged, you threaten to never do business with Apple again. They shrug it off and escort you out. They don’t need your money.
All three of these entities have something in common: They have become so valuable to society that their success is not only guaranteed, but automated.
Their nonchalant indifference is so polarizing to us that it is somewhat alluring; but the truth is it wasn’t always that easy.
First, they had to become valuable.
People overcomplicate this way too much. There are full-length articles covering “How to become valuable in 5 easy steps!”, when in reality the concept of becoming valuable is simple as can be.
Here’s my no-nonsense definition of Value:
Value is doing or providing something unique to society that either interests or helps sustain it (or both).
A major key to value is replication (consistency), because replication scales and leads to reliability. Once you have become reliably valuable, even the sky can no longer limit your potential.
Don’t complicate the unique aspect either.
We are all inherently unique and no one on planet earth can compete with you once you’ve accepted this fact as truth. Do not compete with other people… Compete with past versions of yourself.
#2. Be Perceived as Valuable
Perceived value revolves around other people’s perception of you.
That’s it. But read this next part carefully, because this is the part that trips so many people up.
Not only must you guard your reputation at all costs (which takes ample amounts of discipline), you must also perceive yourself as valuable. Guarding your reputation can be VERY easy, or insanely difficult if you have no moral compass.
If you have no compass, acquire one. If you need to fix it, do so. You may succeed without a compass at first, but eventually all masks will slip.
Let’s touch on perceiving yourself as valuable. Think back to the three examples I gave you earlier, when I talked about magnetizing yourself. The examples I gave you were of entities that do not beg, chase or simp for attention. In short; they have self respect. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be perceived as valuable.
While this ties into guarding your reputation, understand that it can also be an entirely separate battle. You must value yourself before others can see the value in you. Meditate on your self-worth and carry yourself as if you are already the person you desire to be.
Just remember not to be a snob. 😉
The End?
The process never truly ends. What? Are you just going to become a worse person once you’ve achieved your goals? Of course not.
You are fully capable of doing this. You’re already on the path.
This isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme or a life hack. If you truly want to pursue your dreams and achieve your goals in a manner that doesn’t drain all of your energy, put the time in and study the steps above.
Your future self will thank you. — Lite.
I have never thought about the word Replication in that manner. I also dig the bit on competing with prior versions of yourself. On that note one thing an old baseball coach told me is when you practice something, you either get better or you get worse… never the same. Tying your unique take on value and value creation is def a nice piece!
20 years self employed. things really didn't start rolling money wise until i niched into one area of photography and video. rather than "chase" what seemed like all the cool events etc. (don't get me wrong saw and shot some cool stuff, jordan, kayne, brady, obama.....to name drop a few) BUT my value was all over the place and not easy to define. focusing on one area of the biz that better fit my lifestyle as a dad. now we stay booked thus it creates a fomo to hire us, rather than knocking on doors to new events the work comes to us.